i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
