I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
