I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
