i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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