You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize