I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
