vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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