Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
