You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
