at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
