After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize