i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
