I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
