At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
