glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
