Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
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