what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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