I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
