we're blogging at a bar
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
