I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
