i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
How does one acquire holy water?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
