Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
