Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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