please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
