Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
