Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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