You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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