That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
