I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize