i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
