McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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