I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
