This girl is more easily done than said...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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