whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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