She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
