Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
