Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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