Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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