So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
