Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
