So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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