i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
