dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I've blown a few things in my day
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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