I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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