Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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