yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
