Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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