He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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