stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
