every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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