she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
