im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
