He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
