it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
