No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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