I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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