I'll bet she douches with gravy.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
