if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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