so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
