I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize